She is sleeping next to me. Her baby blanket is curled into a ball and both of her arms are wrapped around it. She holds it to her chest. Her pajamas are made of the softest fleece and chosen to keep her warm throughout the cool night, as she prefers to clutch her blanket rather than cover herself .. Sometimes she turns and through her half-open eyes sees me laying beside her. With this discovery she smiles and wraps her arm around my neck, so that the crook of her elbow rests in the very middle of the back of my neck. When she gathers me in like this –we come face to face with only a couple of inches between us. I can feel the hotness of her breath and smell her still -babylike sweetness.
She is surprised to find me in her bed. This luxury is reserved only for when we are away from home. In this case, we have traveled to see her special physician and complete the annual check-ups and tests that her doctor requires to monitor her illness.
As I lay next to her the early morning light is beginning to fill the room. I am optimistic that this visit will be rather routine as our family is becoming more experienced with her health issues.She is almost three. In just a few hours she will be asleep again, although this time, medically induced for her scheduled MRI.
Hours later I am seated in the waiting area. I hold her until the medicine takes effect and she has fallen asleep. I bend down and kiss her and hurry from the room.
So I sit now, writing.Restless. I say a prayer. I scan the newspaper. I step outside and call my husband who is just starting his day back at home , fifteen hundred miles away. I walk the halls and soon the hour wait is over.
I see them wheel her back into the recovery room. Her tiny body barely visible in the full size hospital bed they have placed her in. Experience tells me soon they will call me to be by her side as she awakes. Minutes later , I am still pacing the hall, I hover near the entrance to the recovery room . I can see the doctors leaning over her, watching her carefully. I see them apply a breathing treatment and I am concerned but not alarmed. Still not allowed to cross the threshold into their work area, I am frustrated. Finally, I am called in. Her cheeks are pink and her eyes are closed. Gradually, she awakes. She coughs and coughs and she lays on my chest for over an hour. Finally almost two hours later, she is awake and smiling. Groggy , she giggles for me softly.We are done for the day.
Check back soon for 4 more scenes from our 7 day trip