This is the landscape behind my house. A natural piece of desert that exists just outside the fence of our backyard. In the morning, I sometimes try to slip outside with a hot cup of coffee just to take a look.Only two months ago, it was blooming and unusually green. Now, tired and thirsty- it is stark and compelling in the morning light. The monsoon season is here and I imagine the desert is thankful for the refreshment of rain.
In brief, the kids and I had nine appointments during this past record- hot week. Six of the appointments were Zoe’s regular weekly therapies plus three doctors appointments (one bloody ear infection, 2 cavities and one continued bout of asthma). The week ended with new prescriptions, sleeplessness and a middle of the night illness. Then it started to rain.
Looking back at the week, I began to measure my successes. I was able to accomplish some tasks for my business. Some days the guilt and pressure of what I am challenged to accomplish is heavy- but the pleasure of small accomplishments can be so sweet.
And although the appointments this week were taxing- Zoe is making slow but steady progress in her therapies. Some moms I know battle their concience questioning how much therapy is too much. But for Zoe- it is working.
And for the first time in over a year- Zoe battled a nasty infection – that did not send us to the hospital. The doctors were kind- the medicine efficient and her body is strong. Olivia’s asthma seems to be improving with the new treatment plan and it is a relief not to hear her coughing.
Yesterday I was reading a compelling blog that referenced a “best/worst moment”. Defined as a time or incident that you viewed as “bad”- that in fact turned out to be good. Next, I read with interest an email from a special needs mom asking the question “Am I in denial because I don’t view my child as severely delayed?”
All of these things were on my mind late last night, as I watched the rain coming down on the desert behind my house….My week…- including the memory of my husband bathing Zoe in the middle of the night,…. that “best/worst moment” blog, the mothers’ questioning email.
At that moment, I could feel the heat of the desert. I could feel the tired, dry desert embracing the refreshing rain. That’s when I realized it’s about perspective. All of it. The best/worst moment, the mother looking at her child, my week.
It is our choice..We can feel barren,dry , even tired like the desert or we can just be thankful for the rain.