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October 2010
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December 2010

Why I Chose You Then and Would Do It Again

Aaa It was a magical time for us then, when we first came together. Life wasn't perfect- but we were, from the moment you first held me as we danced across the floor. In our thirteen years, I never tire from hearing you tell that story,. "divine intervention" you call it. How you held me that first time and just knew.
Life has changed for us since then, but we still come together to find our own magic moments. Sitting by the fire, out on the patio, at the dinner table , when it's just you and me.
But the magic doesn't end with just us, you have embraced being a father, and set out to make magic for our girls too. They love their " go-to-guy" who makes them pizza, tells them stories, gives them hugs and everything else that they need to feel love and cherished, just like I do.Our day's are busy with our common goals- your business, the kids, my own commitments - yet you always encourage me- that I am doing it right, that I am talented and when I really need to hear it-  that I can do better.

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The Music of Gratitude

Today will be different than other days- Today I will see up close a life that could have been, a life that still could be. The children's faces will be real, as will the fear, fatigue and hope I recognize as their parents pass me by- and as these scenes play out before me, they will remind me- how very lucky we are. Today Zoe and I will spend some time at the Children's Hospital. And I will remember the way I always do- our first procedure there. How I sat by myself that early morning, in the waiting room- wanting to know so badly what was wrong with my baby. I will remember how I watched that Doctor come from surgery, seek out that anxiously waiting set of parents and then take them into the small private room .How I was still sitting there- lost in my own thoughts and wants- when the door to that room opened and the parents emerged hand in hand , pale, and crying. I prayed then- a prayer for them and a prayer of gratitude for my own family and what we we did not know. Today Zoe will make eye contact with the other kids who pass by in wheelchairs and strollers. That sameness will excite her and she will greet them as she always does- though most will be unable to say anything in reply. Today we will navigate the hospital hallways, Her pink wheelchair will hold her small backpack, but no feeding pumps, no oxygen, none of those life preserving tools that accompany most other children traveling those same hallways. Today Zoe and I will be the lucky ones. We won't be staying .My bright eyed girl who always says " good" when you ask her how she is.. no matter how tired, how feverish, or how tough her day was. Today my girl and I will check into radiology for a couple of tests, visit the lab and then we will go home. We will go home. And when we are done and we pack up the car to head home, I will settle her in and give in to my own relief to be leaving. I will push away any dark thoughts and fears, and instead choose to hum along to the music of gratitude in my heart.

Time Discovers Truth

Zoe2 Zoe8. Before I became a mom, I did everything at high speed.  My long legs galloped through airports, trade shows, malls, corporate hallways- purposefully propelling toward my destination. I assessed people too quickly, rushed through conversations, and often missed the simple beauty of everyday life...

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