Adoption, Belonging and Finding Family
I am fiercely passionate about what happens in my home, and the family life we make. My mothering, my marriage- the relationship we have with our children , how they feel our love, and the connection we share. I am not aiming for perfection, and it has nothing to do with Zoe’s special needs and acceptance. It is all about belonging, I want my kids to know that family is a place where they belong. I am adopted.
I am an adoptee, I have searched for and found my birthparents. I was lucky enough to unravel the truth behind the false birth certificate I grew up with. All of my original records remain closed,( for now in the state of Ohio ) yet still I was able to first find my birthmother, who told me the story of my “ famous” father. I was able to reunite with my birthparents and find that part of “me”. I was even fortunate enough to co-present with my birthfather, the keynote address at The 30th Annual American Adoption Congress , Adoption Network National Convention.
It was a different lifetime ago, when I began searching. I was successful, a workaholic in the publishing profession I loved, yet I had no real life. The process of finding my past, and connecting with my birthparents helped me to find my future.
As a parent now, I finally understand that there is no greater love than the love a mother has for her child. I understand the genetic link too- the way my birthfather and I have so much in common and could choose to be family, decades later. The way I felt so comfortable, the first time I walked into my birthmother's home, although as individuals- we are quite different.
But I also understand that adoptive mothers make a choice. They authentically choose to reach deep within, they choose to call their child their own, to protect, to nurture , to love as their own. They see no difference, fully loving their child born from their heart.
But that chosen child, should be allowed to someday choose too. That grown up child should be allowed to discover their own past - that may complete and unfold their future. To know about the biological parents they were born to, before they were born into another one's heart.
