When Marie Holmes, one of the three recent Powerball winners sharing the $564 million dollar jackpot officially claimed her prize, she said the best thing about winning is being able to provide for her children. Holmes is a single mom with four kids and was living in a trailer. And most parents hearing her story will believe the stereotype that when she said “provide for” she meant food, housing and a secure future for her children, all under the age of 7.

Holmes has one child with cerebral palsy, which suddenly makes her not so different from me. I know what Marie Holmes meant about wanting to provide for her children. I am the mother of a special needs child, and I know the hurt of wanting to provide for your child, and also the advantage of being lucky enough to do so.

 The hurt means spending your nights clutching your sobbing toddler tight against your chest, not knowing what is wrong, when all you can offer is the comfort of your touch, then quietly wipe your tears away.