Special Needs Mom: A Note Of Thanksgiving

 

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I sat down today with pen and paper, to reflect and record what I am truly thankful for this Thanksgiving. Most of my notes I email; notes to the teacher, quick questions to the doctor, reminders to my husband, even fun notes to my girls.

Maybe it is the absence of handwritten notes today that generates such emotion and contributes to the viral fame with notes of shame left on restaurant receipts, anonymous notes left in the neighbor's mailbox or on car windows. In honor of the holiday season, and in effort to spread some holiday cheer, here is my note of Thanksgiving.

All That I Am Thankful For Today:

For Wisdom: That I have finally accepted the value of taking care of me. That by dedicating time for soulful endeavors; my morning walk, cooking a fresh, healthy meal for myself, or even sitting in the sun to read a book- will make me stronger.

For Hope And The Inexact Science Of Medicine. What we know as the applied art of medicine today in practice and treatments, may be discarded tomorrow to make way for new thoughts and technologies. This gives me hope and also means that medical prognoses don't always come true. My daughter Zoe uses all the abnormally developed parts of her brain in the most amazing ways, to daily defy medical expectation.It also means that medicine can be whatever helps and heals- including the beliefs in your heart and the love you receive.

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The Year To Tell My Story

 

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ScaryMommy.com

My first post for Scary Mommy is a true story about the normalcy I wanted on a sunny day at the park with my kids. Instead it turned into something else. The most interesting thing about sharing this story on Scary Mommy, was the feedback and suggestion that maybe I was being a bit judgemental and displaying preconceived notions of my own. This is just another example of how being vulnerable, makes you grow, think and think a little more. 

The story starts like this.. 

The Golden Hair Girl In The Princess Tower

I have always been the nice mom in the neighborhood, comforting the upset kid waiting alone at school pickup, worrying about the preschooler cruising the grocery store aisle, until yesterday, when I told the golden haired little girl at the park to go away. It was a warm beautiful day, and I was intent on making some memories. Head on over here to read the rest.. please comment, tweet and share the love while you are there...

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6 Secrets of Special Needs Moms

 

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Thanks to HuffPost Parents, AOL Lifestyle, Yahoo Parenting, and all of the other awesome places this has been shared 500k+ times! 

  • Special Needs Moms are lonely. I yearn for more time with friends and family. Authentically, I have a positive attitude and most often you see me smiling. I may even look like I have this SuperMom thing down, am super busy, and have enough help, but I am lonely. Being a Special Needs Mom doesn’t leave me the time to nurture and maintain the relationships I really need.I could get super detailed here about the hands-on caring for my child ( Do you remember when your kids were toddlers? That hovering thing you had to do? It’s that plus some.) The plus-some includes spreading my Mom love around to my other child and my husband, who on a daily basis are put on hold, waiting for my attention.I don’t have much time to call or email my friends and even family...and if they don’t call or email me, well then I feel massive guilt about the time that has passed. More negative stuff that I pile on my shoulders. Getting out is tough. I really miss the day’s when I had playgroups with other Mom’s, open-house style, dropping in and drinking coffee at a friends’  kitchen table with my child playing nearby.  

 

  • Special Needs Moms have to work extra hard to preserve their marriage. This goes with counter-balancing the high stress of special needs parenting and directly combats the sky-high divorce rates for special needs families. I put extra pressure on my husband, he is my best friend and sometimes I expect unrealistic BFF behavior from him at the end of the day( see #1). He is my hero,supportive, patient and loving- and my kids would be totally lost without him. The success of our marriage, will affect the health of our children. My husband and I haven’t spent a night away from our kids for six years, we “ date night” out of the house every few months, for a two-hour sushi date. Our marriage is a priority so we “ steal” our moments when we can.

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