Saturday mornings at my house start with delicious sleepiness. Not to be confused with actual sleep, this is simply the act of allowing myself a slow Saturday start, being awake and sleepy and not feeling the pressure to be productive. After my coffee, cruising the news on my Ipad, and feeding the kids breakfast, I reach for the remote for some Ree Drummond time. 

 Just like her books and blog, it is the celebration of her lifestyle and the beautiful images that I find so relaxing.Ree opens each Pioneer Woman, Food Network show reminding us of her roots, introducing herself “ I am a Writer, Blogger, Photographer and Mother”, and that is who I connect with, this same woman who welcomed bloggers at the Kickoff Keynote at BlogHer’ 2013.

My girls are twenty months apart. " O" the big sister, is almost a teen- she wears wedge flip-flops, designs elaborate doodle drawings and can master most online games; All enviable accomplishments to her little sister, Zoe, who does her best to follow in her sister's  footsteps. Where " O" can run , Zoe uses her walker. When the girls do "" Just Dance 4" on the Wii, Zoe has some pretty mean moves that are meant to model the spins and bounces her sister effortlessly exerts. The girls share the same medical diagnosis, however in our house, O is the " typical " kid ,and my expectations for her are great, maybe maybe even sometimes..unrealistic. 

Olivia was about 8, when we started talking in detail about Zoe's diagnosis. It was then that I realized through O's little girl eyes, that she was expecting Zoe to get better. The medicines, the therapy appointments, even doctor's visits.. were all meant to make Zoe better, help her learn to walk and speak clearly. O was just waiting for it to happen, and waiting and waiting, until one day when she asked me if it ever would. And I told O what I knew to be our truth,. I watched her eyes fill with tears and waited for her words of grief, and instead heard her little girl voice ask" Does Zoe know, Mom?" She was protective of her little sister, trying to imagine if Zoe knew this, if Zoe, with her great  love for life and easy laugh, knew this to be her future or if there was more hurt to come.